That 70’s Show

As of yesterday, that is the decade of life I am beginning. 3 score and ten…thank you to everyone who offered me best wishes via text or Facebook.

One very clever friend took pleasure in informing me that I am no longer a “sexagenarian”. Sir, a gentleman does not bandy the name of a woman. What happens on Brumby Road stays on Brumby Road. Perhaps our well water is the fountain of youth.

Besides “sexagenarian”, I have discovered a whole bunch of other things I’m not, thanks to the Pride promoters who are working for Microsoft and their Edge browser, which launches every time I open my computer. I’ve tried to stop it but the evil Windows people have me flummoxed.

This is a schematic of the 73 Shades of Pride, which showed up on my desktop uninvited a couple of days ago. Refresh your knowledge of the combinatorial mathematics of gender relations here https://freehtt.org/2024/12/21/your-tax-dollars-at-work/ . With 73 Shades we are going to need an AI data center just to get started.

In addition the previously discussed “Pansexual” and “Panromantic”, I now see that there are quite a few other states of being to be proud of. They include Polysexual and Polyamorous and Polyromantic and Polygender, as opposed to Pollyanna.

Asexual, Androsexual, Bisexual, Demisexual (as in demi rosé, 500 ml?), and Multisexual. From none, to one, to two, to many. God created the natural numbers, all else is the work of man…

Most of the terms are beyond understanding, unless you are operating Through the Looking Glass: When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’ Gender Studies professors have mastered that!

I did recognize Gay Men, and Lesbian, which is somehow different from Sapphic. Pretty tame stuff compared to the other more confusing identities. There is “Queer” and “Straight Queer”. There is even a label titled “Unlabeled”. Perhaps this is a catch all in case none of the 73 Shades fits, but one still wants to have Pride.

I don’t know if any of the labels refer to married heterosexual couples. But I hope so. I’m no longer a “sexagenarian” but I’d like to think Stoker and I have something to be proud of besides cycling up Stoney Creek Road on our tandem. Once…