The Sock Guy

My friend Steve is a really fine fellow and a strong rider. He is excellent company and it is a pleasure to converse with him. We laugh a lot even when we are drinking iced tea. He is also one of the most intelligent and practical people I know, and he can install or fix almost anything. Stoker wishes I had a fraction of his DIY skills.

But his cycling fashion sense is abysmal.

For one thing, he wears a wide brimmed hat under his cycling helmet. He says it is for sun protection, but he slathers on the sunscreen too and I suspect the only thing the hat does is slow him down. This aerodynamic atrocity might be a good thing though; he is a strong rider and hard for me to keep up with.

But his signature style sin is socks. He does not wear tights or knickers, but he covers most of his leg below the knee with an incredible assortment of outrageous hosiery.

Recently he produced some pairs with a superhero motif, capes and all. The two on the right below are batman and superman. On a recent ride one of the batman capes got caught in his chain and was dislocated. If he had crashed I can see the headline: Cyclist brought down by The Caped Crusader’s Cape.

I tell you, sometimes it is a trial to ride behind him. If thine eye offend thee…